
The Greek philosopher Zeno of Elea (490–430 BC) had many paradoxical theories, one of which can be explained by the idea of a cat walking across one side of the room to another. Take part of Zeno's Paradox, for example. We are constantly measuring our possessions and time by fractions, but like the confusion of Jason McAteer, does that also echo wisdom of Confucius? As he put it: "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." But are fractions and portions also a matter of philosophy and subjectivity as well as empirical fact? It's a constant life management skill, as well as a matter of personal perspective. So this week our topic is all about dividing the whole, the one, into something less (or in some ways more), whether that's halves, quarters, eights, sixteenths, or smaller, or indeed any other portions not divisible by two and in any dimension and any words associated with them. Obviously it's a deeply flawed practice (just look at the world …) but fractions are a key part of society's necessity to share. "The one who divides can't choose", is a mantra I've heard sometimes when around a hungry table, when one person is slicing up the hot dish or cutting the cake in a hopefully democratic way. Our existence, from cells to planets, is made of fractions and portions, not merely in physics and mathematics, but in everyday matters – money, food and other possessions, as well as space and time, with regular difficulty in getting it right. Simple, or not? Life certainly isn't, and having to divide things up within it is a constant preoccupation. After a certain amount of confusion, he was soon satisfied with this obvious conclusion: "The pilot! He knows a shortcut!" "How come it's much faster on the way back?" mused McAteer. The destination's timezone was one or two hours ahead of the UK, so on the way back in terms of departure and arrival times, it appeared to be a much shorter journey. "Nah!" he replied, "I'll just have it in four - I'm not that hungry!"Īnother division difficulty scenario was set on the return flight from a European game. The story goes that the Liverpool team were enjoying a meal out, and when the waiter brought Jason his serving, he asked the player whether he wanted his divided into four or eight slices.

Though not quite in the top tier of players, McAteer was a loquacious, sometime popular figure, a bit of a character, but also the many tales about him highlight that he was not the always shiniest penny in the jar when it came to intelligence. There's a possibly apocryphal, though also just as likely true anecdote about pizza featuring the 1990s midfield footballer Jason McAteer, who variously played for the Republic of Ireland, Bolton Wanderers, Liverpool, Blackburn Rovers, Sunderland and Tranmere Rovers.

"The greatest gift is a portion of thyself." – Ralph Waldo Emerson Visit our delivery information page for further information."The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions …" – Samuel Taylor Coleridge Please choose the relevant option during the check out process. USA & the Rest of the World Delivery - £9.00.

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